There was a really good joke on HBO's "Dennis Miller Live"
this past 8/7/98: "The U.S. Postal Service is ready to
release a new 32-cent stamp with a picture of famed movie
director Alfred Hitchcock... for those of you who think
that's too much money to pay for a stamp, the Postal
Service also announced a much-cheaper stamp with a picture
of director Brian DePalma" (if you're into movies, you're
on the floor laughing; if you're not, sorry for wasting
your time!). If Alfred Hitchcock is to the suspense genre
what Capcom is to 2D fighting games, then Brian DePalma is
what licensed superhero games are, in the hands of Acclaim,
to gamers: a cheap quick thrill that squanders its gameplay
potential (it's Batman, for Christ's sake) and doesn't live
up to the gamer's expectations. The old Acclaim is back.
"Batman & Robin", like the Joel Schumacher-directed movie
on which its based, is as fancy and enjoyable as a
one-night stand with a one-armed/one-legged hooker (??!!);
you're getting some satisfaction out of your money, but it
just can't compare with being married to a woman that loves
you from the heart for who you are. It takes place over
three 12-hour days (the Bat only comes out at night, you
know) in which villains Poison Ivy and Mr.Freeze plan to
take over Gotham City for their own nefarious purposes; as
either of the three super heroes from the movie (Batman,
Robin or Batgirl) you must find and piece together clues
you find in the city by taking them over to the Batcave and
into the computer, where you'll mix them and find out what
to do next (yawn!). This detective-wannabe part aside,
it's a standard "Batman" game taken to the 3D level, with
lots of baddies waiting to be repeatedly punched/kicked
(when on foot) and plenty of vehicles that need to be
destroyed when covering the massive terrain that occupies
Gotham City (on vehicles). Is this worth $45 and your
time? Nope, I'd rather do Monica Lewinsky's laundry :-O!
GAMEPLAY / FUN FACTOR: C-
If it didn't have the license from the venerable Dark
Knight attached to it this game wouldn't stand a chance,
but being able to play as Batman on a 3D game for the first
time is kinda cool for the first fifteen minutes. Then it
hits you that, for all the pre-release hype, "Batman &
Robin" is either a rushed game that didn't tax the limits
of the PSX or it got the attention from a team of Jr.
programmers at Probe (makers of "Alien Trilogy" and "Die
Hard Trilogy", two much-better licensed games for the PSX
and Saturn). The gathering of clues and ability to catch
the bad guys PRECISELY WHEN YOU'VE DISCOVERED THE TIME TO
BE THERE is a quasi-RPG element of strategy added, but it
just doesn't come together as either enjoyable or an
interesting-enough feature to warrant replay value after
the first run. All you need to do is being familiar with
the plotline of the movie to have a halfway decent idea of
what do do or where to go; you wouldn't go to the Science
Observatory right at the beginning of the game, because you
already know that Mr.Freeze stealing diamonds from the
Gotham Museum happens first on the plot (and the clues
inside the Computer back that assumption).
Frankly, watching the movie in order to know what to do
when playing the game sounds like cutting your left arm so
you'll know how to get rid of your right eyeball (anybody
who has seen the flick know what I'm talking about :-P). A
great deal of ideas were stolen from other games and mixed
together for "Batman & Robin": the go-anywhere punch/kick
gameplay recalls Eidos' "Fighting Force" (the button layout
was stolen from Namco's "Tekken" series), the gathering of
items (lasers, batarangs, bombs, masks) and 3D engine
recall Eidos' "Deathtrap Dungeon" and Sir Tech's "Excalibur
2055" (with a rare switch to a fixed camera every once in a
while, ala Capcom's "Resident Evil"), the driving sections
recall the driving portion of Probe's own "DHT" and the
obscure driving games "Felony 11-79" and "Red Asphalt"
(only with much, much crappier control).
And all those games that require nimble use of every button
in the control pad (like "Forsaken" or "Black Dawn")? This
game obligates the player to switch between 'detective'
mode (via a loop icon) and a 'fighting' mode with the R1
button, and every single button must be used and activated
as needs arise. Designers must know that their control
design isn't exactly user-friendly (and also can't be
customized but offers the gamer six pre-set patterns),
because even in the 'detective' mode, your character's
'Jump' feature (that can be used to glide around) causes as
much damage as a well-placed jump/kick; how's that for
realistic collision-detection? That's only one example of
the many when the controller comes between you and the
so-called fun of playing "Batman & Robin"; the analog
controller isn't supported properly, with the
character/vehicle you control wielding semi-uncontrollably
when maneuvering the city landscapes, on foot or car/bike.
None of the many elements listed above come together and
make the game a satisfying and 'whole' experience, which in
turn demoralizes yet again the faithful who are still
waiting, after all this years, for a good Batman game.
What we get with "Batman & Robin" is a rehash of all the
bad games we've been playing for years waiting for the good
one to break out every once in a while. When the bad guys
and their minions walk around mindlessly punching the walls
and thin air, and they do as much damage to your super hero
as you do to them, flashbacks from the many 16-bit crappy
games ("Maximum Overdrive", "Spawn", "Batman Forever" and
"Demolition Man" come to mind) come to mind. The game may
have 32-bit bells and whistles, but the AI of the bad guys
hasn't evolved much in the past few years.
GRAPHICS / VISUALS: C
There are no FMV cinemas from the Warner Brothers movie the
game is based on (that increased the score, odly enough
:-P); instead we get CG scenes with Mr.Freeze, Poison Ivy
and our heroes posing and walking around, pointlessly
wearing their costumes and setting up very little story
(the cinema when you die, though, is a sweet sight of our
heroes freezing to death). There are 15-second loading
times every time your character enters a different arena or
leaves it (via a still screen and a filling bar; what about
a "Resident Evil"-like door animation to make these more
bearable? Nope!), and frankly the resolution of the game is
very low-res and not very easy on the eyes. The game seems
to move at a steady 20/24 frames-per-second, the colors are
almost monochrome and bland in their grayness (no deep
colors visible anywhere) and the horizon seems to be
drawing itself just a few feet away from your current
position (sufficiently far not to be a concern during
gameplay, but a very visible eyesore to the eye-candy
conscious crowd). The lifebars above the screen look like
those in a fighting game, and although there are dozens of
thugs that need to be punched/kicked those bars feel
totally out of place in a game that looks like the
pre-alpha version of "Nightmare Creatures" (ouch!).
Because the control isn't calibrated perfectly, there are
many times when you'll be trying to hit an enemy, swim
around water and/or drive around a corner; that's when the
jerky animation and stiff body movements come into view and
show that the motion-capture studio was probably being used
by the "WWF Warzone" people at the time Probe needed their
"Batman & Robin" animations. You can't look at this game
without appreciating the effort and quality-design behind
Eidos' "Tomb Raider", the game that obviously inspired most
of the gameplay ideas behind this latest Acclaim calamity.
The option/menu screens are OK (a redish sky with the Bat
signal going around, just like in the movie's opening), and
the developers even had the time to draw little anime-like
images of themselves in the credits. If it weren't because
the game is faithful to the artistic design and style of
the Joel Schumacher-directed movies (which I happen to dig,
despite the idiotic scripts), the game would have gone
straight into the 'D' category. As it stands, "Batman &
Robin" is a bad-looking representaion of an artistic vision
that comes through at bits and parts (those outfits and
vehicles, especially Robin and Batgirl's bikes, are cool).
MUSIC / SOUND EFFECTS: C-
There are a few one-liners from the villains during the
menu/option screen ('Everything... FREEZES!"), and I'll be
damned if I know where those samples came from (a good bet
is that those aren't really Schwarzenegger and Thurman).
What little voice samples there are in the game come across
clearly, but the music is just a series of annoying loops
that recycle the 'new' Batman theme (not the one Elfman
composed for the Burton movies) over and over every few
minutes. Our super heroes vocabulary during the game is
reduced to a series of annoying yells (Batgirl's in
particular), but when you consider that the alternative was
hearing Silverstone talk it isn't much of a loss. The
sound effects are lackluster and need more variety, and are
as unimaginative as the premise itself. For shame!
OVERALL: C-
The need to play wannabe-detective is a slight incentive to
give "Batman & Robin" a try, and it puts it just a step
above the dreadful and brain-dead "Spawn" from last year.
A great deal of talented people from many entities put
together their heads for this one (Warner Brothers
Interactive, DC Comics, Acclaim, Probe), yet the result is
a less-than-mediocre game that feels more like product than
anything someone put their hearts and love into. Two spots
are needed on your memory card to save the game (up to
three saved games can be stored), and I frankly suggest you
do rent this puppy if you get a chance; you'll be able to
appreciate your "Tomb Raider"-like games and other driving
titles in your collection after witnessing how Probe
butchered the fun out of their own. Forty-five bucks?
